Butterflies and fear on stage
What prevents musicians (and others who go on stage) from performing at their best? According to body-movement guru Barbara Conable, there are four kinds of problems that interfere with performance: butterflies, self-consciousness, inadequate preparation, and fear. They are usually lumped together under the heading of “performance anxiety,” but in fact not all are anxieties and not all are to be avoided. (Conable’s ideas can be explored in greater depth at www.bodymap.org.)
Butterflies is the common sensation of fluttering in the stomach (and possibly nausea) that immediately precedes a performance. However, rather than being something to be feared, it’s actually a positive bodily response that signals emotional involvement and goes away once the performance is underway. Even great performers feel butterflies, and a musician who lacks this response may also lack the vitality needed to be a great performer. In brief, don’t worry about butterflies.
Self-consciousness is “a morbid awareness of oneself as an object of attention,” according to a pithy definition that Conable cites. In this case a performer mistakenly believes that they—not the music—are the focus of attention. As Conable notes, the audience has come to hear a performance of music, not to look at a person on stage. The root of the problem lies outside the scope of music performance per se and should be addressed accordingly, but Conable suggests developing kinesthetic and emotional self awareness.
Inadequate preparation. I once asked the great saxophonist Ernie Watts whether he felt nervous while performing, and he replied, “Only when I’m not prepared.” If you haven’t done the work needed to be on stage, you simply shouldn’t be there. The remedy for this problem is simple: cancel or delay the performance and go back to the grindstone. Conable cautions musicians never to go on stage unprepared.
Fear. Sweating, shaking, rapid breathing, dry mouth, and disorientation are the hallmarks of fear, the most difficult performance anxiety to overcome. Fear can cause memory slips, missed and wrong notes, stopping and starting, and even an inability to read music. In other words, it can ruin a performance. The problem may seem intractable, but Conable notes optimistically that even this barrier can be surmounted with patience and diligence. She summarizes the remedy with the acronym FEAR: a) feel the fear, b) embody the fear, c) arrive, and d) relate.
Most importantly, a performer who feels fear on stage must not try to ignore the feeling. This kind of psychological struggle only adds to the fear. The solution begins in acknowledging the fear as well as other emotions—anger, hope, compassion, anticipation, etc.— that occur in the moment. Fear only overwhelms, Conable notes, when experienced in isolation from other feelings, and fear is diminished when accompanied by other emotions.
Conable encourages performers to feel all of the sensations in the moment of performance, which she refers to as embodying the fear. Being aware of the sensations occurring while on stage, including the feeling of your clothes, shoes, socks, skin, hunger, thirst, pleasure, the feet planted on the floor, etc. allows a performer to connect to the moment.
Arrive in—or claim—the space you perform in. Metropolitan Opera Orchestra French horn player Eric Ralske tells a related anecdote about being backstage during a performance. He noticed a singer about to go onstage strutting like a dog and “marking” his territory by wiping his nasal mucous on the curtains. When he walked out on stage, the singer appeared to own the place, according to Ralske.
Finally, Conable encourages performers to relate to the audience, not to see them as opponents or judges, but rather as people who want to enjoy music. The audience is on your side.